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corlie · Newbie Joined: Nov 29, 2006 Posts: 1

Hello everyone.

Just wanted to share my experience on the infertility issue hoping this message will give some advice and hope for others who are facing this difficult challenge.

I never thought my husband and I would have to go through something like this during our marriage, since I always thought two healthy people should be able to get married, try to start a family and have a baby to follow shortly after. As I'm sure is the case with most people reading this post, it's not always that simple. In our case, near impossible.

In the course of 4 years, we had undergone every treatment available to us, including 4 IUIs (Intra-uterine insemination), 4 IVFs (In-Vitro Fertilization) involving one failed attempt with my eggs and 2 separate egg donors. Our last one, a year and a half ago, was a donor egg IVF with IVIG (Intravenous immune globulin).

Living in NY, we had some good options for infertility specialists and facilities to choose from. But still to this day, we do not know (nor will we ever know) the exact reason why I could not conceive after all these trials. In the course of our 4 years, we became aware of a few possible causes such as my high FSH level and abnormally elevated natural killer cells - on top of my poor quality eggs.

During the course of our procedures, we've had 2 separate fertility doctors. The first specialist we saw started out nice and was very thorough. We had been recommended to him and the facility and knew their reputation. However, after my first IVF was stopped dead in it's tracks when I was unable to produce even one viable egg (after a top dosage of Folistim and Repronex that required 5 bottles of each) both my husband and I sensed a change in our doctor's attitude and felt like he did not want to deal with us anymore. In fact, as I started to ask him about other options, he interrupted me loudly and said, "You cannot have children naturally and IVF will not work for you." He claimed we had a less than 1% chance to conceive and should stop thinking about it.

We understood doctor's office must keep up with high success rates to enhance the facility's reputation, but at the end, I felt like I was treated like one of the assembly lined patients. Even though he said they had a great donor egg program, we felt THEIR heart wasn't into it, so we decided to switch facilities at that point.

The second specialist we saw turned out to be the best doctor we've ever had. It was at NYU Fertility Clinic in NYC with Frederick Licciardi, MD.
Not only was this facility known for a great egg donor program, but the doctor, his assistant and the nurses were all very kind and caring, and - on top of everything else - even returned my calls.

We had two donor egg IVFs there. The first time we had a great amount of hope and I did get pregnant. For two very wonderful weeks after finding out I was positive we felt like we had a child coming. It all ended with miscarriage at 8 weeks.

Dr Licciardi personally called and told me how sorry he was with the news. It was very thoughtful of him and I could not appreciate enough his kindness. I know the science matters and results could be varied for each patient, but I truly believe Dr. Licciardi's office made a difference emotionally compared to the first doctor we had.

While there was a protocol that opted certain blood tests only AFTER a number of miscarriages, my husband was adamant about having my natural killer cell numbers tested. They did it, and it turned out abnormal - an unusually elevated number of NK cells. At that point, we knew our options were limited. We had been to an adoption open house earlier in the year and had decided, if our last IVF didn't work, we'd begin our adoption process.

A few months into our paperwork, NYU gave us a call and claimed they had another good donor for us if we were interested - one who not only looked like me apparently, but had alot of the same characteristics. We thought this must be meant to be, so we went for another one - this time using the last option in our toolbox - IVIG to be injected into me to push down the NK cell percentages. We consulted with a maternal and fetal medicine doctor and had a high hopes.

As I'm sure some of you know, infertility takes over your life, as well as your financial security. Treatments were very expensive and depending on the health insurance, it can make a big difference. I would suggest to everyone to contact your healthcare provider in advance and do some research.

Also, make sure to request ALL blood tests BEFORE you start an IVF. We wish we knew about the natural killer cell issue early on since it might have affected our process - or at least put IVIG on the table earlier. In fairness, the doctor we were referred to for these tests, Dr. Rebarber, was both accommodating and realistic. While there are no definitive studies about the effect of NK cells on pregnancies, he was willing in our case, and due to our history, to give it a shot. Even the IVIG, which is not typical protocol for many clinics, was approved by him because he knew we were at the end of our fertility rope.

As it turned out, despite spending 3 hours attached to an IV before the IVF implantation, the procedure didn't help. For us, anyway, nothing worked - and at that same time, my husband's best friend and his wife just succeeded with donor egg IVF - the last of all of his friends to have children (we were married before all of them). All of my friends had long since had children and were on to their second. If that wasn't enough to handle, our only cat died two weeks after I got the results.

So after almost 4 years of a very emotionally painful process, we gave up our dream of having a child born to me. Thank God our adoption process was underway. We felt happy and comfortable in our path to adopt our daughter from China.

This has been an another long journey for us to achieve our family dream, but we were hoping to hear from China with our daughter's information sometime in early 2006. When we began the login process with China, the wait was around 6-7 months. We put together our baby's room and expected to hear, latest, sometime around the end of February 2006. February passed, then March, April, May, etc. As we watched, the waiting period expanded from the original 6-7 months to a 14 month wait. Friends eventually stopped asking when the baby was coming and, while we were optimistic, we hoped things would move along.

That summer, we had mine and my husband's relatives over to the house pretty regularly - anything to divert our attention while we waited for the adoption. I had some stomach aches I attributed to stress, but tried to forget about them for the three weeks relatives were around.

After everyone left, I told my husband that I was still having stomach aches and constipation, so I went to my doctor. After a series of tests, they couldn't find anything, but the aches didn't go away.

A few weeks later, I had an appointment with my gynecologist and explained to her my problem. She took my blood and did some tests.

What was happening? You guessed it. After checking with my OBGYN and primary care physician, we found out, much to our shock, that I was 8 weeks pregnant (naturally)!!! My husband came to the second doctor's appointment with me and was called into the room once I was hooked up to the ultrasound. We both looked dumbfounded at the distinct shape of a healthy 8 week old fetus.

We knew all about the myth that a couple who had a trouble conceiving got pregnant after giving up or going through the adoption process. Much to our surprise, we became one of those people somehow - the most unlikely people on the planet to be in this position. While my period was a little inconsistent after all the IVFs, when it didn't come that month we just assumed the door had completely closed for me (ovarian failure - which a couple of the doctors said I might have).

I am almost 6 months pregnant at this point, and even with my apparently poor egg quality, high FSH levels and natural killer cell issues, everything is going amazingly well. The baby seems to be healthy (we did an amnio and everything was normal) and we are expecting a boy in April 2007. Also, while we had to postpone the adoption process for 6 months, we are continuing it up next year and, if all goes well, will be welcoming our daughter from China into our family before 2007 is out.

So, don't be discouraged! Life can bring such a very unexpected event when you are least expecting. By looking back, I just take all my experience as it was supposed to happen, and after all, everything happens for a reason. If we only adopted, we would be as insanely happy and fulfilled as all our other adoptive parent friends that we've met during the wait. As all of them told us the moment they saw their child for the first time, all that stress, disappointment and depression from infertility just melts away. It's your child forever. For us, we've been blessed to be able to look forward to both experiences when, for a while, we'd wondered if we would even be allowed to have one.

I wish the best of luck to all of you and just want to let those who are discouraged, unsure and uncertain if things will ever go their way in this process - if you will ever have a child to love, any child - keep trying and hoping - and your dream will come true.

noah · Newbie Joined: Oct 29, 2007 Posts: 4

Hi corlie, it took me over an hour but i read that whole story, what a nightmare. I had similar issues with my infertility however just had ovulation induction problems and used injection drugs like hcg pregnyl and Gonal F. After about 14 weeks i finally got pregnant but had a lot of pregnancy complications from day 1. By the time i was 8 months pregnant i realised all the trouble was worth it.

I wish you all the luck in the world for you and your family.